I'm Baaaaack....to Blogging

Hello to all of you who might still find this.

I want to try and blog again. A lot has changed in my life and it is still changing constantly. There is a lot to update on and I might not reach it all, but I hope to get this long huge post out of the way and then have smaller quick blurbs as I go along.

1. I am no longer in counseling. I do not think I am perfect or "fixed", but I feel like I have gotten all I can get from counseling. She has given me all the tools I think I need, I finally have a good and solid support system, and though I may have my downs, I don't stay down when I have them. I think I'm ready to tough it on my own and I think I will succeed.

2. I moved out of my apartment with Sara and into Jem's apartment. There is a lot of good to this and there are only 2 downsides. The first downside is that I am definitely downgrading apartments. My apartment with Sara is much nicer, but I can live with that. The other downside is people's perception of me. I am okay with this. If people think I am living in sin, let them think that. People should know me better than that. Someone even made the remark that if I was moving in with him, it meant that I was selling myself to him. You people are crazy. I grew up different than most Christians. I know what I am doing. I have my boundaries and I am sticking to them. If you assume differently, that is all you. The many positives that come with this severely outweigh the perception of a downside. When Sara and I hang out, we won't be doing roommate things anymore. My cost of living is more than cut in half. I continue to have an amazing support system, and there are more, but it's late and my brain is tired.

3. I started a new lifestyle change called Take Shape For Life. I will be blogging a LOT more about this. If you want to know more statistical information and information about how this works, e-mail my coach at sarahflake@gmail.com and she will tell you all about it. Just tell her I sent you and we will both get perks.

My doctor actually suggested this plan for me and it is a meal replacement plan with a hint of me making my own food. I have 5 meal replacements and one Lean and Green meal. I will be blogging more about this as I go along. I took before pictures so I can take pictures along the road and at the end to compare. Here are the fully clothed ones (one person has the partially unclothed ones on accident, e-mail embarrassment ftw XD)

These are intentionally taken on a straight angle so you can see me in all my fatty glory XD I hate posting these, but these are part of my motivation. I will lose weight and I will do it right!

Now, onto how the plan is going. I just finished day 2. Supposedly the first three days make or break the plan. I will be my grumpiest tomorrow. Today I got really lightheaded and a big headache. After talking to Sarah we figured it is because I am not drinking enough water. Jem is going to help me drink more water at work and make sure I drink enough. Usually water isn't my downfall, but when I am hanging out with people, I just forget. I hope to get better at this. So far only one of the meal replacements has tasted bad, and they will let me send it back for a different meal at no additional charge. It's so awesome!

I will keep you all posted on how this is going. Good Night!

Yup, it's me again. =]

I’m going to start this by saying, yes, I care too much about what people think of me. I know this, and I hate it. It hinders my life in ways I wish it wouldn’t. This is a step in the right direction. I’m going to broadcast this in every way I know how.

If you’re not with me, you’re without me. I know it might sound stupid, but I hate the saying “if you’re not with me, you’re against me.” That saying only works if I am also against myself, because only then would I let petty crap stand in my way. I have big ideas, and a big life, and I can fit everyone in, but it might not be in the same way some people want or expect it, and that may not be enough for some people. If that is you, I understand, and I’ll never stop caring, just don’t bring me down.

I don’t have to go into a lot of detail to explain one of the normal parts of my growing up. I was made fun of….a lot. Aside from the friends that had stuck with me for most of my schooling, I was an outcast. Not the cool, hip, goth chick that nobody talks to but everyone thinks is bad ass….I was the girl who sat in the back so nobody would realize I was there and they might shut up about me for a period. Not everyone did this to me, but a lot of people…enough that I stopped trusting when people did try to befriend me. I had had enough people pretend to be my friend as part of some cruel joke.

Not until I was partly through high school did I really meet people who helped me open up. My best friend from elementary, middle and high school, Amanda, left because her parents moved. It wasn’t far, but in high school with no car, Aumsville was too far.  In the long run, I began a form of life where I began changing myself to be accepted by others. I changed my outward views, my interests, everything about me until I became someone that I didn’t know anymore. It wasn’t until a couple years ago that I realized this was happening. I started a time of identifying me. I’m still doing that to this day. Sometimes I still act in ways that reflect my old ways of thinking out of habit when I say something different. One day it will all align again.

I choose to live by choice, to make changes, not excuses, to be motivated, to be useful, to excel. I choose self-esteem, not self-pity. I will not run away from my problems because once I have to face them again, they will be twice as hard to overcome. I have fallen many times in my life and needed help to get back up, I resolve to be able to pick myself back up and move on. I am strong and I know it. It’s just taken me a long time to realize it. It won’t all happen just because I said it here, but I have things to work toward. I just want to be me, it involves realizing everything that makes me…well…me.

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On another note…I have said this before, but I’m happy right now. Things are really good. I still have worries, but who doesn’t? I’m not letting them take me over.  Here...I’ll categorize some of it for you all like I normally do.

Home: Living in Beaverton is amazing, but it costs a bit more. We are looking into finding a third roommate. I love Sara and she still is the best roommate I’ve ever had. We notice when we get snappy with each other, we don’t egg on…we stop, back off, do what we were doing and come back to apologize if we feel it was needed. I like our unofficial system of operations =]

Work: I still really like my job. My main stress is that it is really slow and I’ve been losing a lot of hours. I’m finding ways to cut costs and for a while it might mean no car because I can’t afford to pay the insurance right now with my loss of hours and my registration is up which I can’t renew without insurance. So yeaaaaah….I’ve been applying for jobs again hoping to find a job that will give me the hours I need to catch up.

Friends: This is probably the most frustrating part right now…I’m dealing with a lot of crap from people for not being a good friend. I really am getting tired of repeating myself. “IT’S A TWO WAY STREET.” I have a lot on my mind most days, I am not that girl who sits on my phone texting EVERYONE hello at the beginning of the day. I never will be. Don’t give me crap because I have fun with other friends than you. I moved away, again, I understand that, if you can’t handle the distance then goodbye.

Relationshippy thing: I don’t think there are words that are good enough in my mind to explain. I’m happy…genuinely happy. When I’m with him I feel at ease. I don’t worry that he thinks I’m a psycho. I don’t spend my time wondering if he thinks I’m too this or too that. I mean, for a while I would tear myself down saying I was too fat for him…but he has never said anything or done anything to make me think that. (While I do want to lose weight, still keeping in line that I’m doing it for me and not for anyone else is really important to me.)

It’s comforting to know that we’ve both had opportunities to be there for each other to just be there, nothing more. On top of that, I feel like we can both be open with each other and nothing will change. He spoils me, and for a while I would feel guilty that he’d pay for things for me, but he told me not to. I’m still working on that, but for the most part, I think I’ll be able to accept it. When I really think about it, he isn’t just giving me things…he is paying for things that will allow us to hang out and do things together that we both like to do. Something that has stuck with me for a few days now is a conversation we had. On my birthday he told me he got me something but was waiting for it to come in the mail. This last weekend I had a dream that involved that train of thought and when we were talking about it I said, “Why did you tell me you got me something, now I’m freaking curious.” =] he said it was because I’d wonder why he didn’t get me anything. When I said I wouldn’t wonder that because I never expect to get anything from people besides my mom and dad. He said I should. I don’t think I said anything after that, if I did I don’t remember. I don’t know why that surprised me, but it did. (He got me tickets to see Wicked, by the way. Another thing we can do together. I really like that. I cherish experiences more than money or physical things. Memories are worth more to me.)

So yeah, I’m happy. When we hug, I don’t want to let go. When I open my eyes and I see him, it makes me smile. I feel safe, warm, happy, and playful. He listens to me and he holds me when I need to be held. When I tell him about my problems, it’s not because I’m complaining, it’s because I trust him. I trust that he’ll know when to chime in, he understands when I just need to vent and a hug will do, and I trust that what I say to him stays with him.

Did I mention I’m happy? =] With the hits that come, I’m glad I have support, form Jem, from Sara, from my mom, and from my sister…I’m glad I have the friends that will deal with my crazy, random, all over personality, and I’m glad I can finally say I’m happy with the ups and downs as they come.

Sorry it takes so long to update this….enjoy it while it comes.

Yay for Newness...

I’m trying to update this more often again, that last post just too long and took too much to get out. Lol. By the time I finally had it finished, everything needed updates again. So let’s try being on top of this again and see how it goes. Work is always a fun one for me so we’ll start with that. I know sometimes I make it seem like my work sucks, but I really do like my job. My anxiety makes me freak out more than a normal. There haven’t been a whole lot of calls that have made me so stressed out that I have had to walk away from my desk, only two or three as far as I can remember, and I’ve taken thousands of calls(I’m not even exaggerating. I take an average of 120 calls a week and I’ve been here for about 24 weeks now almost.) So out of that many calls, if there are only 2 or 3 that have made me so frustrated or stressed that I’ve had to walk away, I’d call that pretty good.

For those that have had to deal with me while I’m in those situations, thank you for two things: 1) for being there and 2) for not mocking my anxiety. I know I’m being stupid sometimes, but sometimes I just need to rant and then when I hear myself, I know how unreasonable I am being and I’ll figure it out. Just having people there that will listen and just be there; that helps. It’s really hard to change the way my mind works, but I’m trying my best to work with it. Now that I know how to filter, it’s getting easier, but it is still hard. I have people who are there when I need a hug and some people who understand the situations because they deal with them too. I just appreciate all the support I’ve got. This is my first call center job and even though I’ve worked a lot of customer service jobs, call centers seem like the worst. People don’t have a person in front of them, so I am not a person to them…I am the broken piece of equipment and they are mad. Sometimes people don’t care if their issue gets resolved, they just want to yell at someone. Sometimes letting them vent and then showing empathy helps and I am really good at calming customers down, but for those that still think I am an xbox…all I gotta say is I wish I was that thin =]

All in all, work is really good. The things that I worry about are normal and that’s new for me. Finally I get to go back to my old schedule of working in the mornings. End of the month, can't wait.

Roommate stuffs…sometimes I feel like I’ve been such a horrible roommate, but I know I'm just over thinking things.... I’ve been trying to take advantage of this whole new schedule thing and working from noon to 9. This way I basically hang out with Sara in the morning and other people I plan with at night since I don’t have to wake up uber early. The only thing is, when I hang out with people (pretty much been the same person a lot, but I’m working on it), I generally stay the night because I’m not good at driving tired and I don’t want to risk crashing, and I like the sleepover part too hehehe. I just need to be better at time management so I wake up and go home to hang out with Sara and do stuff at home. I just don’t like being so time constrained and having a shift in the middle of my whole day messes with me. Grrr. Sara has been amazing and I wubs her to pieces. Best roommate I’ve ever had. WE are past our 6 month mark and we haven’t had an argument yet. We’ve gotten snappy before, but usually only during a certain time of the month, lol. And I think I’ve finally stopped worrying so much about what she thinks of me. I really do hate how my mind works, but I’m noticing that I am winning in some areas and I don’t freak out so much about what she is thinking now and I like that. I hold content that if she had any issues, she’d talk to me and I don’t stress anymore. Yay =] Soon I go back to my old schedule and can plan things =] I just wish she didn't work on my days off....it makes it so hard.

Sorry for the uber cryptic relationship portion of my last post, it probably won't get better. Mostly because I don't always share a lot about stuff like that because people assume things and I really hate that. We had our little talk and things went really well. Of course, I freaked out about it because I feel that I am incapable of communicating effectively. I wrote out my thoughts without going back to edit them and gave it to him, he read it and clarified. Basically nothing is going to change and I am happy. I didn’t want anything to change, that was what the freakout was for…I was afraid that things would change by "talking" because the sitgma is that a "talk" in a relationship means things need to change. I just wanted to know what he was thinking and I have a bit more insight now. Yep, still not a lot of information fro you all, there are some things I keep to myself. lol. If you want to know more, feel free to ask. <3

For fun stuff, I've started watching Dr. Who. I just finished the episode in season 1 with the German Air Raids and the guy I quess who is from Torchwood? I dunno. I wasn't impressed in the beginning with the show, but it is getting much better with each episode. I tried watching Grimm, still not too enthused about that one...we'll see. I still play lots of rock band <3, and I'm trying to get better at more than the vocals...Jem is too stinking good, I feel inferior, lol. I'll stick it out on hard for now until I can get it through my thick head to stop strumming the hammer ons and pull offs, otherwise I'll always fail. Been playing a lot of board games. Dungeon Petz is a new favorite of mine, it is soooooo stinking cuuute and really thinky as well.

Other fun stuff....I keep winning concert tickets on the radio but not being able to go to the concerts. This needs to change. Also, Wicked is coming back to Portland in March and I want to try to go! Who's with me? Hmm...what else? Once my finances are in check, I'd really like to invest some spare funds into rennaissance outfits so I can be more active with SCA again. March is going to have an event in Portland that I'd really like to go to if I can manage. There are closets for people to borrow garb and I want to find that up here so I can be prepared. It's a masquerade ball which would be so much fun and with the old dances I'd love to finally learn. That is the kind of dancing I like, the mideval dances that I did when I was a kid. I want to learn again sooo bad!

I think that's it for now. If you think I'm forgetting anything, comment and I'll add =]
　

Uuuuuuber Long Post

Wow, sorry I’ve been so far behind on this, I have so much to talk about, so be warned, hahaha. This is going to be loooooooooooooooooong.

November: NaNoWriMo ended with a bang. I won with over 60k words….now lets see if I can edit it. Lol. We’ll save that for after the new year. November was a crazy month and as much as I love it, I also sometimes wish I were better at time management. I don’t know if I’ll ever be good at time management.

Work: Still a lot of stress tied to work. I had a really great co-worker pass away in a freak accident. That made a week of my stats totally bomb, it was my goal last week to get them back up to par. I think I succeeded, I know I am pretty good at my job, I just wish so much of my job wasn’t tied to the customer surveys. Or I guess how they are done. I can’t speak much about that in detail, but they might lose a hard and dedicated worker over something that can’t be controlled. I don’t care how much people say “there’s always more you can do to make the customer happy.” I call their bluff. Sometimes the customer’s are just mad idiots. I had a Kudos call (where they ask for my manager to tell them how awesome I am) turn into a negative survey. I have them rave about me in the comments but it isn’t reflected by the score they gave me.  I don’t think this survey system should go away, I know a bunch of people who have been fired because of them and I really think that they weren’t good at their job, but I’m seriously trying here. I’m asking everyone how they word things, how they explain things, I’m listening to my own calls to try and see how I can help myself, nothing seems to be changing and it’s getting me more freaked. As stressful as it can be, I really do like this job and I’d like to keep it for a while.

In other work news, I applied for a promotion. Because of everything in that last paragraph, I don’t know if I will get it. I am qualified for the job, and I hope they see that and maybe it will shine through. It can’t hurt to try, it just gets my name up there. For other stuff, I love the group of people I work with. We are a bunch of crazy nutballs and it makes my job seem less stressful when I have a group of people to talk to and can know that others are going through a lot of the same stuff as me. I have high anxiety towards my performance, I already know this and it makes me a bit more high strung about it, but I deal. I know two people who have quit because they couldn’t handle it, and I’m not there, so I’m holding strong and I’m proud of myself.

(Edit of new stuff since I typed that up: I talked to my manager and it looks like my stats are in the green right now. Including customer surveys. Things are looking up in that dept. =] )

Reading: I’ve been trying to read a bunch more. I’m working on it and getting back to my old level. I used to read at least a book a week and now I’m lucky if I read more than one a month. One cool thing is the book club I started going to. I’ve only been once and I failed at reading the whole book, though I’d read it once a long time ago. I hope it inspires me to read more and that I actually do it. Also, I’ve been reading with Jem(correction, he is reading to me =]) a series by Catherynne Valente and she is such an amazing writer. I’m so freaking astounded that I had never heard of her before he showed her to me. I want to read everything she has ever written now. There are so many books I want to read, I just need to get on it.

I also want to find a little hole in the wall bookstore that I can love as much as the one in Salem that I used to go to that closed down. I don’t know how to describe it where it will be as awesome but I’ll try. The smell of it was homey and of old musty books, I loved it. The shelves were from floor to ceiling and all full of books but not all neat and orderly…well they were in order, but not by size like most places. The shelves ran down the hallways and all into the various rooms. It was like an awesome maze of books. I loved it sooo much.

My goal right now is to read Paradise lost in the next 2 weeks as well as Looking Backward either in that time or at least by the end of the month. I want to get caught up and read more =] Oh and I’m reading Jem’s copy of Paradise lost because Amazon hates me and doesn’t help when trying to find the right books. I got 3 copies of books that I am not happy with in the last month. I still need to go complain lol.

Me vs To-Do lists: I don’t do them well. I don’t think this is something I can fix, lol. Maybe it is, I dunno. It’s a matter of remembering to put things on the list and then doing them. I’m also bad at time management and planning. I’m good at forgetting that I wanted to make plans with people and then they get all butt-hurt. This leads into….

Friends: I’ve been looking over my friends and I like what I’ve been doing. I’ve been slowly whittling out the friends that aren’t good for me so I can hang out with the friends that are good for me. Something that people need to know is, it’s still a two way street. You can’t get upset with me for not making plans if you don’t try as well. It still mostly happens with my friends from Salem. I get guilt-tripped because I post about doing all this awesome fun stuff and people are like “I miss you, why do we never hang out.” Well…because you don’t ask either. I’m tight as it is on finances, I go down to Salem for meetings and I try to see people then, but I can’t see the same people every time or I’ll never get to see other people and then some other people get mad because I was in Salem and didn’t see them. C’mon, people….you have cars too….carpool and come see me. I don’t have anyone to carpool with to pitch in for gas….lots of you do have people that can share the gas cost to come see me. I know I’m the one that left, but if any of you talked to me long enough to see how happy I am up here, you’d stop complaining that I left you. I was miserable in Salem unless I was hanging out with people and you can’t always have people with you. Up here I’m happy whether I’m alone or with people.

Confidence: I’ve gained so much more confidence in myself and it’s awesome. I was kind of able to start fresh when I came up here. It allowed me to establish myself as who I am instead of who everyone else has perceived me to be. I could have changed my name if I wanted, I even thought about it…but I didn’t. I’m just being me, and I like it. The confidence seems to make it easier for people to like me because I don’t change aspects of myself to suit others, I just don’t care about differences. Differences with people are what keep us interesting and if we were all the same, that would be boring. We don’t all need to like the same things or think the same way, but we do need to respect others, and I always will.

Finances: I thought I was doing so well on finances, but there are some things that need taken care of still. So I ask for help, anyone know a car shop that will take payments on fixing a car? I still need to get my coworkers car fixed and I seem to be horrible at setting the money aside, but I know that if I had payments I’d make them. It’s who I am. When I set money aside, it’s hard because something always seems to come up. I haven’t spent more than I have yet, I still am setting money aside, but I don’t have enough to outright pay for his car to get fixed yet. I also need to get my car fixed….I just need to get the hood fixed and the rest I can do. I know how to change my fluids, brakes, and tires…I just need to get that dang hood fixed. Things cost too much money.

Biking: I’m hoping to save some money by biking, this will also help me lose weight I hope. I bought a bike; I have shoes to bike in. I have taken my bike for a spin and now it’s back in my car because I went to a friend’s house with it. I need to get a freaking bike lock, I just haven’t gone to get one yet. I’m bad at procrastinating and then forgetting things.  I’m also self conscious because I know I’m fat and I have asthma and as much as I want to bike WITH people, I’m worried I’ll drag others down somehow….we’ll see how this progresses. Buying a bike was the first step, using the bike is step two…I need to get on it.

Weight: This has always been a struggle with me. I’m becoming more confident in my own skin and I think I really needed to be ok with myself before I could realistically do anything about my weight. I can’t try and lose weight out of depression around being fat, because then I’ll never lose weight fast enough and then get depressed again. I had to become comfortable in my own skin and lose weight because it will benefit my health, not just so I can look “better.” Most of the time I think I look beautiful, no matter what my size. Beauty is not determined by weight. A lot of times, though, society bleeds into my thoughts and I look in the mirror and get so disgusted with myself. I wonder how a guy could possibly be able to wrap his arms around me and not think I’m a fat tub of lard. It’s been happening a lot more recently, even though I have no reason to think that. It’s just frustrating that I can’t always help what I think and if I let myself, I can get caught up in those thought processes. I haven’t let myself get stuck in that thought loop, but the fact that I still think it is still not good. When you’ve thought something for so long, even though you’re ok with yourself, it’s hard to not think old thoughts out of habit. I’m working on it, and as slow as it may be, I will be ok =]

Gaming and Geekiness: I love gaming so much. I am such a geek and I love it. Board games, Rock band, Portal, and much more; I love it all. I started playing Portal and it’s addicting and fun =] I also started playing a new game last night called Desktop Dungeons and it’s so basic yet so addicting. Lol. Did I mention I love rock band? You’d think I’d be tired of it by now, but nope, I still love it. I’ve been playing a ton of new board games and they have almost all been amazing. Mage Knight is my current favorite of the ones I’ve been playing. A Game designer named Vlaada Chvatil is the guy who makes most of my favorite games. One day I want to meet him, shake his hand, and say, “Thank you for making my brain expand almost to the point of explosion.” =]

Complacency, Life, Stream U, and Goals: I feel like I’m stuck in a rut with my life. There are so many things I want to do and so many ideas of where I want to be. It seems like all of those goals are right in front of me, but just out of reach. I also don’t fully know where I want to go with my life. I have so many skills and so many things I love to do, but I always think, what if I pick the wrong thing? I’m stuck on all the what-ifs? I’m pretty sure I want to stick with culinary now. I want to learn more about professional cake decorating and baking, I also want to start a restaurant or catering business, or maybe both. My work has a school called Stream U. I got into it and I want to take some classes through that since they are free. I can take some business and managerial type classes through them and those would be really beneficial. I just need to flesh out more ideas and get some things set in stone. I want to feel like I’m doing something again. I am so used to doing full time school and work, but now I’ve slowed down almost to a stop and I’m worried it will stay that way. I’ll work so I can get things done.

Christmas and other Holidays: I still feel like I’m being a downer about all of this, but holidays suck. Sometimes the meaning behind them is good or whatever, but most holidays seem to have lost their meanings. Christmas this year was a lot of people getting me stuff and that’s cool, but it reminds me how poor I am and that I can’t reciprocate. The holidays turn into a political battle of what is politically correct to say and then the others saying “we won’t be politically correct, screw you.” Half the Christians can’t even make up their mind if they think Christmas is actually Jesus’ birthday and whatever. I just give up. I still say that the holidays have turned into a way to get all of us to pay money for decorations, food, travel, and whatnot. I like birthdays, cuz I think everyone deserves a special day…but I stopped getting birthday decorations as much, more I just find ways to hang out and  make that person feel special. I like new years and 4^th of july because I get to blow things up =] Maybe I’m bitter, but whatever. I still celebrate them, just in my own way.

Trips: I want to go on so many trips. I keep saying I want to go to Canada or even Seattle. I just need to get in my car and go. I want to go on a road trip, who’s with me?

Relationship: So this is massively filtered, and there are just some things that don’t need to be shared with the whole world, but I’ll share what I’m willing. =] With the relationship I mentioned in my last long post where I was talking about the resolution to my loneliness is still holding. I don’t know much more than I did before I guess, or maybe I do and just don’t know it. This is all going to sound like a jumbled mess and if you understand it, props to you.

This new thing is…well…new to me. And it’s slightly awkward writing this because I know he’ll be reading it and seeing into my head a little but I have no clue what he is thinking (hoping to change that soon, just gotta ask I guess. Lol) Well, anyway…I’m happy. To me there are still some things I would like to talk about but I don’t know what questions to ask or how to get my thoughts out. And I’m trying to be a little vague here because again, there are some things not meant to be so open about. I don’t know his intent I guess. I have put myself in situations before where what I want is not the same as what the other person wants. I like how our relationship is. Gaming, hanging out, reading, snuggles, dorkiness, random conversations and so on. I like that, I really do. It’s nice to have that really good hug after work and just someone who I can be me around in that sense I guess. I’m surprised he’s not tired of me =] OK, I am pretty awesome, so I guess I see that, hehehe. I worry for myself though because as I said before, I get emotionally invested easily and I don’t want to repeat what I’ve done, by getting emotionally invested in a relationship where the other person doesn’t want the same things. It wouldn’t be his fault, but it’s just who I am. I am really happy though, and if I had a rooftop, I’d shout from it, but I don’t =] It’s just my random thoughts that put a damper on things. A lot of these thoughts could be squashed if I could just think of the right words to say or questions to ask. I’m so much better at writing things, and equally bad about saying them as well out loud.

We’ll see what happens. I’ve gotta go, I’m surprised I actually finished this. I did warn in the beginning that it would be loooooong. If I missed talking about something that you want to hear about just ask and I'll answer =]

Connecticut Part 2

So on my trip I haven’t taken as many pictures as I thought, but that’s ok. I’ve been too busy experiencing it =]. Today Ling and I went on a walk to the farm down the street where most of it is all broken down and worn down. There were a bunch of cats and it was kind of sad, but the kitties were so cute. I think I saw 4 different cats, but I only got pictures of three different cats. I took some really cool pictures of the barn and the road. Everything is just so pretty here. 

We got back at the same time my aunt and cousins showed up. I was really nostalgic and all, but we got to hung and catch up a lot. We went to the Empire Buffet, a tasty Chinese buffet Ling suggested. I think we decided that my personality is a mix between Jessica and Megan, lol. I’m conservative and all, but then a total anime geek =]. I was surprised how much in common Jessica and I had. And Megan and I have other things in common from a different side, it’s just really cool =]. I can definitely find the family resemblance in all of us (from body type, to personality,  even to how the sisters pick on each other is the same) it was pretty cool.

I don’t know who will come to who next, but I know we will keep in touch and see each other again. Maybe I can coax another reunion out of the bunch; that would be really cool. Don’t know how probable that is, but I know Tanya and Amber want to meet everyone and we could plan it on the East coast and somehow it would work. I don’t know. I’ll get my thinkin cap on =]

The second half of my day was spent with some of Ling’s friends from high school. They were some pretty fun girls. We played Imaginiff and talked a ton. It was just really fun and relaxing. I wish I had girlfriends I could be that real around.

Now I’m about to go to bed. Tomorrow we head back to Oregon. To my Oregon friends, and a couple Washington friends…I have been spending a lot of time in my email on this trip….so if you got more emails from me than you’ve ever gotten from me before, I’ll explain when I’m home. Some people on this list are Jem, Ashleigh, Kait, and Mara. It’s a long story, but I won’t be that obsessive again, hahaha. It had nothing to do with you or anything like that, but I just spent a lot of time in my email for various reasons I’m unwilling to post publically about. 

Connecticut So Far

So if you don’t know, I’m in Connecticut right now. It’s so pretty! The flight was uber long, but I slept most of the way. I haven’t gotten a lot of sleep this past week and I made up for it all on the flight and then when we arrived. We had a 4-hour flight to Atlanta, ran to our next flight and then flew another 2-hours into Boston, MA. Somehow I was still tired after all of that and fell asleep for the almost 2-hour drive from the airport to Ling’s house. I was awake for some of it, experienced toll roads and we drove through a tunnel that ran under the ocean. That was pretty cool =] There was also a grocery store that went over the highway and lots of trees.

When we got to the house, I woke up and got out. The first thing I did was look up and I was staring up at so many starts shining brightly back at me. I didn’t even have to look to find the big dipper, little dipper, and more constellations. They were all there. At ling’s house there are no street lights or house lights really to block the stars from shining, unlike at home where I can hardly ever see the stars due to city lights. I can’t get over how amazing that was =]

After all that sleeping, I didn’t think I could sleep more, but I slept for 8 more hours. When I got up, Ling’s mom was making a Thanksgiving feast (This was for Ling since she wasn’t home for Thanksgiving) All of it was so good! They had Turkey, steamed potatoes, steamed butternut squash, steamed broccoli, turkey gravy from giblets, home made stuffing, and apple pie. I was in Heaven =]

Ling and I went around town after that. She took me to the farm she used to work at and it was awesome =] I met the O’Leary’s and they started the farm, they were this old couple and the best old couple ever. The husband was so happy we came, said we made his afternoon. It reminded me of the old guys that call my tech support because they need someone to talk to. It was cute =] After that she took me to the milking area and I got to see cows get milked. That was a totally new experience for me and the cows were so nice! It was a great educational experience.

After the milking area, Ling took me to the creamery, which had ice cream, but we didn’t get any then. We met Kristen, the owner of the farm now. She was pulling lavender to sell for cooking. I love cooking with lavender so we had a ton to talk about. It was all so awesome. Bauman farms will never be the same again. The last thing we did was go around downtown Putnam. It was a quaint little are and it was all old and antique. We went into an antique store that had a corny little famous people museum of things found in movies. Don’t know how authentic it all was, but it was still fun. The whole place is so pretty.

I guess the whole area is called New England, and New England is known for Steeples and stone walls. I think they look pretty. There are nice trees all over the place and lots of random lakes and swamps. The intersections are all wonky, but fun. It’s a small town if I ever saw one and it’s adorable. Due to it being New England, I had to have New England Clam Chowder. It was really good. We went to a nice restaurant called, My Brother’s Place and the waitress had the most amazing accent. Oh the accents! When people hear I’m from Oregon, it’s funny to hear how they pronounce it. Makes me laugh every time.

Last but not least so far, we had Thompson’s House of Pizza tonight. Ling had been raving about this place all week and everyone I know says I have to get the pizza while I’m here. It really was as amazing as they all said. They give you real Italian sausage slices instead of crumbles, and the cheese is somehow different but amazing. It was really good.

A lot of the things here have been the same has back home, but some fun differences: They still have Dunkin Donuts here, they have “grinders”, sprinkles for ice cream are called jimmies, and water fountains are bubblers.

I need to get some sleep; I’m going to see my cousins and my great aunt Shirley tomorrow. I’m so excited!!