**New Apartment: last night was the first night staying in my new apartment. It was pretty nice. I had no covers and shorts on yet never felt the need to use heat. I can definitely get used to this. I keep finding things that make my apartment cooler than other apartments I've had (examples: walk-in coat closet, tons of kitchen space, and a dimmer for the lights in the living room) The things I don't like are things outside my apartment. Living in low income housing I have a wide range of people living here...none of them seem to care about taking care of their "home" or maybe they don't think it is their "home" once they pass the threshold of their apartment. People leave their trash everywhere, and some person dropped a glass bottle of maple syrup in the middle of a walkway, did not pick it up(even the shards of glass) and the rest of the tenants just tracked the syrup all around it (glad I live upstairs because I don't want to deal with the and infestation to follow that). I may not like that, but I can handle it. I'll take care of the area around the outside of my own apartment, but it is just one of those things I don't like. The other thing is I learned that I won't be getting a night job, lol. I tried to take a nap today but the kids outside are so loud, and since they speak some foreign language I don't know of and very loudly, it just sounds like screams of gibberish and hard to tune out. Neither of those two things are enough to make me dislike my apartment, just things I could live without. =]
**Roller Derby: I don't know what to think about derby right now. I know it makes me happy, and lately there aren't a lot of things that make me really truly happy, so this is pretty big. (I get excited about various things but only certain things make me really truly happy.) First off, since I live in Beaverton now, I'll probably be switching leagues =[ I don't make enough money to drive back and forth. The other thing is, I am slightly discouraged anyway. I had a dream recently, though...one where I went to Oaks Park and skated but it didn't hurt at all. I became determined to see if this dream would come true. Soooo.....I went to Oaks Park to skate today. My dr told me to take it easy, even if all I can do is skate for five minutes, sit for 20 and do it again. He wasn't optimistic at all that I'd be able to skate ever. I am stubborn and want to skate, so I'm trying every avenue. Sooo...Oaks Park...I'm going to be really detailed here. I laced up my skates and took off on the floor. To be standing on those 8 wheels and moving around in an oval path made me so happy. I was all smiles as I went around my first two laps, but the smile was harder to keep as the pain kept creeping.
I tried to push through the pain and keep going, but I didn't want to push too far to start so after the 4th lap I sat down. I know that sounds lame, but the pain starts for me almost to the end of my first lap. Sometimes it hurts so much that I can't even finish one lap. So I sat down for a little while (don't know how long) but my friend Melissa was inspiration for me as I watched her on her in-line skates going around like a pro. I got up and went out again. The pain came much quicker that time. I caught up to Melissa and went around once, but my feet hurt so bad that I actually had to take my skates off. I was almost in tears and felt like my feet were about to explode through my skates. It didn't cross my mind to put the skates away though. I waited for my feet to stop throbbing and I put the skates back on and took the floor again, also with Eloise who came =]. Didn't make it far again, but I learned a new thing....I fall more the harder I try. When the pain gets to a certain point, it's like my feet quit and cause me to fall. It's this weird twitch thing that happens, I dunno. I just know that I hit that point and it was the first time I fell. Someone tried to help me, but I got up and then went to put my knee pads on.
Knee pads helped. Once I fell that first time, my feet seemed to have a mind of their own and thought, oh this works, if we cause her to fall, she stops skating for a little while. It didn't stay that way. I didn't walk off every time I fell. I got up and kept going, but then I did this crazy fall where my feet went up, I landed on my shoulder and then the rest of me followed suit. I heard things pop that I've never had pop before. It hurt like hell at first and then it was ok. My feet did that throbbing thing where my skates had to be taken off, but I walked off a little dizzily and sat down for a bit longer than normal. Once the dizziness was gone and my feet stopped throbbing, I got up and went again. Did a lap and had to sit down, but at least I didn't fall. I remember talking to Eloise about how frustrating it was how I had to do this, but she was really uplifting to me and I really appreciate her encouragement. I just kept thinking about how much I wanted to be like Eloise or Melissa and skate numerous times around the floor with seemingly little trouble, but instead I could barely make it one time around without crying.
I had a new vigor. I got up and went around again, I skated longer than I should have, but I tried turning without lifting my feet and I practiced picking up speed without falling...I was in a ton of pain, but it was worth it for that slightly extended time around the track. Eventually I stopped, not having been out as long as I would have liked, but I had to take my skates off and sit down for a while again I was in excruciating . One last time I tried to go out again, I regretted it almost as soon as I got out, but I tried to persevere. It hurt so bad, and I felt so defeated. I got off the floor and that was the last time I went out for the day. I let Melissa take my skates out for a spin and she rocked it. At one point I was in tears out of frustration...why did the one sport I actually enjoy be the one that hurt me the most. I wanted to skate so bad, I wanted to be out there doing immaculate crossovers and weaving around the slow people, but instead I could barely stay on my skates more than 5 minutes and be in hellish pain the rest of the time.
I felt really defeated and I left Oaks Park fighting tears. I don't know where to go from here. I want to keep trying, but I losing my optimism. I want to skate, it makes me happy, but I don't want to permanently injure myself either...what do I do? =[
**Angell Job Corps Reunion: This was kind of lame. I got to see Heather which was awesome, but it wasn't planned well at all and hardly anyone showed up. I left early and it sucked. I do want to have a reunion with the people I knew though, I kinda miss them =]
**Game Night: This started late and we only got to play one game, but the time itself was amazing. We played Puzzle Strike (we being me, Melissa, Mariona, and her boyfriend Dustin.) I loved this game and I totally won my first time playing =] To top the whole night off, Dustin and Mariona have friends that have board gaming nights every week. I am so stoked to get to star playing games regularly. =]
All in all, my day was Epic. I am in love with my new place, it's location, and the possibilities it brings. Here's to new endeavors! =] Sara gets home on Tuesday and she gets to come home with me and stay =] I'm happy.
To part: here are a few pictures from Oaks Park:
very blurry, but here is me skating
us girls =] Melissa, Eloise, and I =]
Me with my skates on =]
Mine and Eloise's skates
My newest recruit into the world of Derby, watch out, she might be coming =] (she is using my skates =])
What is it exactly that is causing you physical pain when you skate? I don't quite understand the exact reasons your doctor doesn't want you to do it(and why it hurts you). But I'd say, if it's something that CAN be overcome through time and lots of getting out there and doing more then I would encourage it! Like I said, I don't know the details of your pain or anything. Are there other things besides skating you can do that might help when it comes time to skate?
ReplyDeleteI'm still not fully understanding it. my doctor doesn't explain it well and he keeps changing it. fibromyalgia keeps coming up and the bone structure of my feet is weird and that makes it worse....I've been doing physical therapy but it doesn't seem to be helping. I have an appointment with a new doctor tomorrow to get a different opinion.
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