Jesus Freak

"What will people think
When they hear that I'm a Jesus freak
What will people do when they find that it's true
I don't really care if they label me a Jesus freak
There ain't no disguising the truth

People say I'm strange, does it make me a stranger
That my best friend was born in a manger"

I heard this song today and it made me smile. I haven't heard it in forever and it just suits me.

I won't hide my Christianity, I get ridiculed for it daily. People assume that they know what "all" Christians are like and I'm to the point that I don't get drawn into a verbal match anymore. I will show what a true Christian is through my actions. I do not outwardly judge, I do not chastise, it is not my place to do so. I can offer my hand to help people where I can, I can give advice to people when asked, I can be a good person. I can only control what my actions are, and if someone is so closed off to the point that hearing what I am makes them turn away, I hope one day they open themselves up and see what the difference is between how they view Christians and how true Christians really are. I'm a Jesus Freak, my best friend was born in a manger, what about you?

Amazing Weekend, followed by Blarg!

I have a bunch to catch up on, I've been slacking at this whole thing. Job hunting sucks and it has been biting me in the butt so hard. I've applied for 10-15 jobs every week since I've moved and I had 2 interviews last week. They both said they'd get back to me by Friday, one got back to me and told me no, the other one hasn't even had the decency to call yet. I still sent my normal "thank you" card that I send after each interview, but I just want a job!!! I hate people buying stuff for me, it's nice and all, but I don't like to be a mooch. I won't ask people for things unless I REALLY need them. Something I have learned is that as much as I hate asking for help, I need to allow people to help me when offered. So from here on out, if people offer me things, they'd better mean it. I'm tired of worrying that people are only offering to be nice but don't really want to help. If you offer me something and I take it, don't resent me for it later or ask me to pay you back unless the condition of the help is if I pay you back. I don't like racking up tabs, but sometimes a girl's gotta eat.

Aside from that...This weekend I spent staying at Thetford Lodge for a letterboxing event. (if you want information on letterboxing, go to atlasquest.com) I love letterboxing and meeting people that letterbox. We did some letterboxing in Salem on the way to Lyons, then we did night boxing in John Neal Memorial Park. I'd never done night boxing before and it was amazing. We found all the boxes and I got first finder on two of them. The bullfrogs were seriously out that night. They played music for us the whole night as we hiked around the park. WE got to see one of them and he was huge, I swear I could compare him to a gallon jug! =]

Saturday we went to Canyon Creek, Bear Creek, North Fork Nature Park, and back to John Neal. It rained on us pretty much all day, but we took a break halfway through for a lunch and hot chocolate  break back at the lodge. (hot chocolate with marshmallows is amazing) On our second trip out we also stopped for hot chocolate with whipped cream =] The hikes were beautiful. at Bear Creek there were a lot of uphill and downhill slopes. I avoided a couple for safety on my own part, but it was amazingly beautiful. North Fork Nature Park was also beautiful. I got a little scared as the trail got close to the edge and it was basically roots holding us up, but it was worth the scare. We found all the event boxes and bonus boxes, and it was probably the best event I'd been to aside from the Powell's event. (even with the rain)

Today we tried to find more boxes in salem, but were unsuccessful...maybe in the summer we will go back. I have fun boxing with KuKu and QBF and I can't wait for the event next weekend.

Back to job stuffs.....the Blarg! is related to my coming home and applying for 5 jobs. I REALLY want a job. Oh and I want to murder some children in my apartment complex, but that's besides the point.

studying up on personal travellers so I can be ready for next weekend =]

More of My Update-y Stuffs

The rest of these topics have no real genre except general life I guess...

So my car has been giving me troubles. I just want to get it all fixed and taken care of. Today it turned back on, but it hasn't turned on for a week. It is so frustrating sometimes. I don't have the money to pay for car repairs right now. I just hope my car lasts long enough for me to get the money to help it. Right now it has gas in it and I'm going to use it to do more job search and such. I am glad I can drive now =] I feel so comfortable driving, I actually enjoy it.

On another note, my mom has been doing this diet plan and she has really inspired me. I know that I cannot afford to do the same program she is doing (I can't even afford the much cheaper Weight Watchers) so my weight loss is going to have to be all me and my willpower. I need to work on this. Slowly I have been working on my eating habits. At least right now I am eating on more of a regular schedule which is really good for my body. I REALLY want to lose weight...for nobody but myself. I want to feel confident in my looks. So my mom has been sending emails documenting her path. In one of her emails she had some goal setting questions so I am stealing those and answering them here for myself. Setting attainable and realistic goals for myself.

1.        What are your health goals?

a. I will pick 1 recipe a week from my Weight Watchers cook book and make it instead of a normal meal.
b. I will do 15 minutes of exercise 3 days a week.
c. I will continue to plan my meals and stick to them.

2.        What are your career goals?

Find a job. I'm not going to put a time limit on this. I just need to find a job.

3.        What are your financial goals?

a. Start the Dave Ramsey program once I get my first paycheck from said new job.

b. Pay off all old debts by December of 2013

4.        What are your education goals?


a. pay off PSU by August so I can register for Fall term
b. Graduate with Bachelor's by June 2014

5.        What are your home environmental goals?

a. Organize my room by the end of June.
b. Get a bed by mid July

c. Make my house into a home.

6.        What are your relationship goals?

a. Spend the rest of 2011 evaluating my relationships and figuring out which ones I want to invest more time into.

b. Continue doing board gaming group for social interaction.

So I will work on those goals. I want to be a healthier me. I want to get my life in order and I'm taking the right steps to move gracefully in that direction.

 This picture of me, taken on Saturday, is the best picture I've had of myself in a while. Thought it is constructed well and such, I know it is deceptive in some areas. I know which of those areas it is deceptive in and I want to improve them. I am not saying this is an edited picture, it is not edited at all, but still, deceptive.

If you want my advice, let that freak flag fly.

All things geeky related are going to flow forward in this post.

I think I have mentioned that I found a board gaming group and I love it. In just two weeks I've played so many new games and I'm catching on quick. It is a social circle that is healthy for me and I'm having a ton of fun. I already have a few new friends here and I like hanging out with them. Tonight we might be playing a cooperative Lord of the Rings game. I am glad we are gaming tonight since I don't think I'll be able to go this Friday or Saturday.

Sara is reading the Harry Potter series and we are watching the movies as well. I am excited that I actually think she can finish catching up by July 15th so we can go to the midnight premiere together. This is the last Harry Potter movie and I'm so excited. I just finished re-reading the seventh book again. Watching the movies with Sara has made me want to re-read the whole series again for sort of a refresher. I'll be starting book 1 again tomorrow.

This might not be geeky per say, but so what? =] We had the best storm in a long time on Sunday. It was hot and beautiful all day and then a torrential downpour came. If my time of the month hadn't started, I would have been jumping around in the rain. The thunder clouds excited me and we even saw and hear lightning. It was epic. I LOVE storms sooooo much!!!

Ze Stuff Relating to Church

Ok....in my further attempt to categorize these clusters of posts here encompasses all things current with all things church and church friends related.

Sara and I are deciding what church to go to. Right now  we are trying out Calvary Chapel Worship Center in Hillsboro. So far I like it. They seem to have a lot of the same church values that I like. The pastor has a great sense of humor. They print out a sermon summary so it is really easy for me to follow along during church. They have a welcome packet for all new members (though I could have lived without being pointed out in front of the church on my first day). The leader in charge of the college group contacted us within 24 hours and the pastor sent us a letter welcoming us to the church. It was all REALLY welcoming. Tomorrow/Today Sara will go to their Wednesday service and this Friday we will go to their young adult study.

I feel bad lately though. I know that Sara wants to jump in and be uber active in a church, and I love that. The only thing is, I don't think I can just jump from occasionally going to church once a week to going to church 3 times a week. I suggest going to Wednesday and Friday service because I feel like it is what I should be doing and I know that church is good for you and all, but if I feel an obligation to do it instead of a desire to do it, I won't like going and I don't ever want to get to that point. I slipped a lot in the past year and I don't like it, but it takes more than a few weeks to change a lifestyle habit. I have my aspirations for this area, I want to get hooked into a group study that will become long term, one that I can build relationships in, but it will take time. I just want to start right now by going to Sunday services regularly, find a church I like and then take steps upward from there. Does that make me horrible? I don't think so.

In other news, I get to see my TP girls this weekend for Floopday. I'm stoked and will be glad to hang out with them. Since the TP study ended I was still worried that me moving away would prevent me from seeing them, even though we talked about this, but I am regaining hope =]

Let's Take A Walk Into The Past

Ok, these two topics I'd like to blog about in one post together....encompassing the past. School years and Job Corps.

I have been running into a ton of people from my middle and high school days. At first I was bitter. I could easily hate a lot of these people for how I was treated by them in school. They may feel no remorse or even think they did anything wrong, but it would inevitably be my choice of what to do. Facebook, such a great place for that. A simple way for me to test the waters. I mean, I know that the likelihood of me becoming super close friends with these people is slim to none, but at least some of them could become friends instead of begrudged enemies. So I took the plunge...when I saw a familiar name on the "People you might know.." side of facebook, I'd think for a moment...wonder if I actually want to say hi to this person, and then if I did then I would click "add as friend" If they added me back, then I'd see where it would go.

I have forgiven all of the people from my school years. Maybe not to their faces, but that is not the point. In church I get told to forgive not once, not twice but seventy times seven times. I may not forget what happened in high school, but I have freed myself from carrying the burdens of what others thought of me. I feel secure in who I am and I wont let a single person change that in me. One specific person gave me hope on this matter. I don't know if she will read this, but Stephanie Bethel, if you do read this, I want to say thank you. I don't know if you realized how much it meant, but when you told me that you never hated me in school, it gave me hope for others. I may not have seen you since high school, but the fact that you take time to comment on things going on in my life is wonderful, and I greatly appreciate it. Your words helped me cross a bridge that took me years to face.

Next I'll bring up Job Corps. Those eleven months out of my life were so short yet held so much of my life. I met a lot of people, but I was in a very insecure part of my life. Friends that I could have been much closer to slipped away because of my attitude about life. i realize that now, but I am grateful for those that stuck with me, didn't chastise me or leave me. Again this has been a door that facebook has helped to keep open. Lately I have been looking back at my time at Job Corps and I miss it. I wouldn't go back to the rules again, I like my freedom, but I miss the things I learned there, I miss the people and the adventures.

I had Amy and Kasia there with me. They were my strength to stand up for myself. We had Bible studies together, wrote stories together, and had many geeky moments together. I could share anything with these girls, and still could if I saw them again. I miss them dearly. Our friendship truly lasts the test of time, we don't see each other often, but that doesn't matter. What does matter is how much we still matter to each other. I will soon take a road trip to see Kasia and hopefully Amy as well. Aisak, Furby, and Skittles together again at last.

Mariona has been another friend to last the test of time. Now we are in close proximity to each other and are hanging out again. I really treasure her friendship and cant wait to see where our Heavenly Father takes us upon the path He has set out before us. I think we will have a ton of fun together, having fun adventures and great stories to tell =]

As I add more friends on facebook from Job Corps, I get reminded of all the great memories I have. The holiday with Shawn and his sisters, mud wrestling and almost getting kicked out for it, duct taping my roommate, fat kid parties, watching the Green Mile and RENT a bazillion times....it was all fun, and I'll never forget it. The lessons I learned there are still coming back to teach me.

There are more people I could mention here, but I don't want to make this into another novel.

I'll part with a picture. One thing I miss from Job Corps is the sunset I would get to see....The coast had such beautiful sunsets.

To Fill In Some Blanks

Okay, I have a lot to post. I am going to break it up into various posts and if those reading my blog make it through my novels, I commend your perseverance. This post will serve to fill in some blanks on some of the more general stuff.

Settling into the apartment has been a step by step process so far. Slowly Sara and I have been chipping away at the various tasks we set before ourselves while doing other things as well. Sara had been working on her final college assignment and I was working on my schoolwork. Sara is now done and my term is over as well. Now she has set along to work on her novel and go through her Brit trip pictures while also job searching. I am doing job searching, planning for NaNoWriMo this coming year and trying to get my life into order. So, yeah, in between all of this...making our apartment home has been a long art project.

I like some of the small habits we have gotten into already. Her sister Heidi gave her/us a magnetic calendar with a separate weekly planner. We are using the monthly calender to generalize our plans so we might know what the other is up to. The weekly planner we are using for meal plans. Meal planning has not been a thing I've ever done in a living situation. I really quite like it. It was something I admired that Niel and Julie did at their house, and so easily it is a habit we form in our new place together. This situation keeps proving to have been formed for us by a great and loving father. =]

I have been feeling under the weather for a while now. I think the stress I've put my body under is finally catching up to me. I like to do more than my body can take and then I pay for it later. So my room is going to have to stay a pit for now. The rest of the apartment is coming together though. Our kitchen is pretty well stocked with food and kitchen wares. As a cook I'm glad of this. Next goal, teach Sara how to cook. =] We are thinking of themes for decorations. Our walls will definitely be unique. We are going to decorate our living room with travel themed pictures and posters. Our dining room with pirate themed decorations. Our hallway will house pictures of our family members, Our office with music and literature references and our bedrooms will house the rest of our decorations. No place will rival our awesome decorations. We want to paint our dining room table with a compass rose and somehow find a way to paint the chairs to fit in =]

Now, if you have made it this far...here is a question for you. I'll begin with an explanation first. Sara and I want to have a house-warming party. We do not expect gifts from anyone, but we also know that some people will want to get us gifts. Is it tacky to ask for gift cards instead of gifts? We want to do this because we already have a lot of the necessities to start a household. Right now we are saving up to get me a bed and then get bookshelves for our "library." We would like to ask for gift cards to Ikea and Target, but are unsure of how tacky that would be. Opinions? Please be honest. =]

thanks for reading, and now onto my next post =]

Beaverton and Other Randomness

So, in Beaverton again. Last night was nuts. Drove Sara's car to the airport with her cat mewling along with the music and following her dad. I parked skillfully in between two improperly parked cars, and then it was off to meet Sara at baggage claim. Of course, when I saw her coming down the escalator I bounded over to say "HI!" and then we drove to our apartment. Downside was we had to unload her dad's car into our apartment and his car had to be parked all the way across the complex from us due to limited visitor parking. I was in pain and tired by the end, and we have one more car to unload and then my stuff at Julie's house. My body is already screaming, lol. A thought I had was if I worked so much in moving and going up and down stairs, how on earth have I GAINED weight? This is so not fair.

Snowflake is the best cat ever =] She is cute, loves to be loved on, and is pretty easy to take care of. We got her cat grass today and loved on her every chance we could. She likes to rub on our computers and shed on anything that is black. Good thing our carpet is the same color as her =]

Today has also been pretty eventful so far, but also very productive. We have Sara's car mostly unpacked, but our living room looks like a train hit it, lol. We now have trash cans, and soaps for the kitchen and so I was able to unpack and wash all the fine china and it is all put away nicely =]. We got shower curtains and put them up, can't wait to get more decorative stuff, but that will have to wait until I get money =[. We got food stamps. Well Sara did, but since we eat together, then we got food stamps. lol. I officially don't qualify because I'm a student and don't work. Somehow that doesn't seem to make sense...oh our government makes me laugh.

Another thing that happened today is I left my wallet in the cart at Target. It was an easy mistake since my wallet is the same color as the cart, but still frustrating. The store said the employee found it when he gathered the carts, either him or the person who looked inside to find my name decided it would be cool to take my $40 out  before giving it back to me. I can't afford to lose that money =[ When I noticed it was missing a lot of worries came to my mind, like how am I going to put gas in my car now, and even besides that, how am I going to pay for the bus when I'm out of gas? I don't want to have Sara worry that this is going to be a regular occurrence, because I budgeted well with what little money I had, I didn't budget losing that money. I just don't like having to depend on help yet again. The most frustrating thing is that when I say I have no extra money, I'm not even kidding. All of my income until june 8th is rent money, after that I'm little better off since my budget will start over. grrr this sucks, but Sara is being amazing through all of it. I'm glad.

Saying Goodbye to Salem, Oregon

So, even though I will be coming back to Salem to visit on occasion, there are still goodbyes to be said. For example, yesterday was the last regular service I'll attend at Church on the Hill. I hope to make it back there to visit some, I just don't know how often and I can't make any promises.

Yesterday also held the last Timothy Project. I loved my group, I still love them, lol...I loved seeing them regularly, and I hope to still see them. Something i didn't realize until recently is that I miss having sincere camaraderie with people. Something that isn't forced, just comes naturally. That is what I feel like I have with these girls. I don't feel like I need to prove anything to them in how I act. I don't have any qualms being myself around them. At our pow pow around the campfire we were talking about Bindo (I'll leave you all in wonder) and I realized something pretty important....I havent had an "inside" joke with a group of people in a really long time. It meant a lot for me to realize that. I can't wait for floopday (leaving you all in suspense again because it is fun) so we can laugh and be random together.

I've been running into a lot of people these last few weeks, and I believe it is totally a God thing. Paving the right path for me, reminding me of why I am moving away from Salem. Close enough to maintain my friendships and professional ties to Salem, but far enough away to finally be free of the drama and strings attached to past friendships. It is giving me the chance to cut the dead branches in my life off so that energy is focused into making the rest of my branches blossom twice as much.

I've been thinking about what lines I need to make after I move. I want to find a good balance between maintaining supports and friendships as well as gaining distance. I know distance needs to be formed between me and any social work program in salem. I could say a lot of rant-y things here, but i'll let that horse die. There are still people I'd like to see, but I'm not going to force anything. I feel like I've befriended some staff there, but a lot of times my definition of friend differs from others. I'll reach my hand, we'll see who takes it.

Today I got a new anxiety medication. That story is too long to tell and too messed up to figure out how to put into words. (not messed up as in bad, but as in confusing) I'll add a blurb explaining if any of my anxiety gets better.

In other news, today I got my license picture taken. I look dead, no surprise there...same as all id pictures, lol. went to dr and found out I'm fat again. tried to talk about derby and all she said is "in any case where a 23 year old patient that is otherwise healthy but is overweight, that is generally the cause of any pain in the feet and back." Ok lady, I can understand that if I was lazy and did nothing and then decided to get up and be active with no warning, but I've been working at this and so far it has been 2 days and I'm still feeling pain. I don't want pain meds (she insinuated that I was trying ti get pain meds) I told her that I don't want pain meds, I want to be able to skate. She said to set another appointment, I hate doctors. Yes, I know I'm a fat tub of lard, but please stop assuming that that also means I am lazy.

hmm...so...dating. This has come up a lot in questions with friends, so here we go. My dating life has sucked. I got reminded of it today. My longest relationship ended in 2007. That was a long time ago. There are a lot of things I think you retain from relationships, especially the first one you felt the feeling of being in love. I can't say if I believe that you can fall "in love" twice, but it is hard for me to believe that one can fall "in love" harder than the first time one fell in love. There will be scars. For me, not scars that make it hard for me to love again, but scars to the point where I hope that falling in love harder than the first time is possible. Every guy I've dated since that relationship has not lasted more than a week. I've been stood up more times in the last 4 years than I ever thought was possible. Sometimes it is hard to not take it personally, wonder what is wrong with me that a guy can't even give me a chance before walking away. Another part of me knows that it is probably better that I feel scorned before emotions are attached than after. So for now I'm sittin back. There are guys I notice or "crush" on, but I think that is just me kind of realizing what I like in guys and pointing it out. Yeah, there are guys I would like to try dating, but don't think it will actually happen.

don't know what else to say here. I see Sara in less than 24 hours =]

Roller Derby and other fun stuff

Today was epic beyond epic. If the world actually ended today, I would have died a very happy Sammi. So since today was not the end of the day, I get to write the novel of all blog posts and tell you about it all. For your safety, I'll break it up into chunks =]

**New Apartment: last night was the first night staying in my new apartment. It was pretty nice. I had no covers and shorts on yet never felt the need to use heat. I can definitely get used to this. I keep finding things that make my apartment cooler than other apartments I've had (examples: walk-in coat closet, tons of kitchen space, and a dimmer for the lights in the living room) The things I don't like are things outside my apartment. Living in low income housing I have a wide range of people living here...none of them seem to care about taking care of their "home" or maybe they don't think it is their "home" once they pass the threshold of their apartment. People leave their trash everywhere, and some person dropped a glass bottle of maple syrup in the middle of a walkway, did not pick it up(even the shards of glass) and the rest of the tenants just tracked the syrup all around it (glad I live upstairs because I don't want to deal with the and infestation to follow that). I may not like that, but I can handle it. I'll take care of the area around the outside of my own apartment, but it is just one of those things I don't like. The other thing is I learned that I won't be getting a night job, lol. I tried to take a nap today but the kids outside are so loud, and since they speak some foreign language I don't know of and very loudly, it just sounds like screams of gibberish and hard to tune out. Neither of those two things are enough to make me dislike my apartment, just things I could live without. =]

**Roller Derby: I don't know what to think about derby right now. I know it makes me happy, and lately there aren't a lot of things that make me really truly happy, so this is pretty big. (I get excited about various things but only certain things make me really truly happy.) First off, since I live in Beaverton now, I'll probably be switching leagues =[ I don't make enough money to drive back and forth. The other thing is, I am slightly discouraged anyway. I had a dream recently, though...one where I went to Oaks Park and skated but it didn't hurt at all. I became determined to see if this dream would come true. Soooo.....I went to Oaks Park to skate today. My dr told me to take it easy, even if all I can do is skate for five minutes, sit for 20 and do it again. He wasn't optimistic at all that I'd be able to skate ever. I am stubborn and want to skate, so I'm trying every avenue. Sooo...Oaks Park...I'm going to be really detailed here. I laced up my skates and took off on the floor. To be standing on those 8 wheels and moving around in an oval path made me so happy. I was all smiles as I went around my first two laps, but the smile was harder to keep as the pain kept creeping.

I tried to push through the pain and keep going, but I didn't want to push too far to start so after the 4th lap I sat down. I know that sounds lame, but the pain starts for me almost to the end of my first lap. Sometimes it hurts so much that I can't even finish one lap. So I sat down for a little while (don't know how long) but my friend Melissa was inspiration for me as I watched her on her in-line skates going around like a pro. I got up and went out again. The pain came much quicker that time. I caught up to Melissa and went around once, but my feet hurt so bad that I actually had to take my skates off. I was almost in tears and felt like my feet were about to explode through my skates. It didn't cross my mind to put the skates away though. I waited for my feet to stop throbbing and I put the skates back on and took the floor again, also with Eloise who came =]. Didn't make it far again, but I learned a new thing....I fall more the harder I try. When the pain gets to a certain point, it's like my feet quit and cause me to fall. It's this weird twitch thing that happens, I dunno. I just know that I hit that point and it was the first time I fell. Someone tried to help me, but I got up and then went to put my knee pads on.

Knee pads helped. Once I fell that first time, my feet seemed to have a mind of their own and thought, oh this works, if we cause her to fall, she stops skating for a little while. It didn't stay that way. I didn't walk off every time I fell. I got up and kept going, but then I did this crazy fall where my feet went up, I landed on my shoulder and then the rest of me followed suit. I heard things pop that I've never had pop before. It hurt like hell at first and then it was ok. My feet did that throbbing thing where my skates had to be taken off, but I walked off a little dizzily and sat down for a bit longer than normal. Once the dizziness was gone and my feet stopped throbbing, I got up and went again. Did a lap and had to sit down, but at least I didn't fall. I remember talking to Eloise about how frustrating it was how I had to do this, but she was really uplifting to me and I really appreciate her encouragement. I just kept thinking about how much I wanted to be like Eloise or Melissa and skate numerous times around the floor with seemingly little trouble, but instead I could barely make it one time around without crying.

I had a new vigor. I got up and went around again, I skated longer than I should have, but I tried turning without lifting my feet and I practiced picking up speed without falling...I was in a ton of pain, but it was worth it for that slightly extended time around the track. Eventually I stopped, not having been out as long as I would have liked, but I had to take my skates off and sit down for a while again I was in excruciating . One last time I tried to go out again, I regretted it almost as soon as I got out, but I tried to persevere. It hurt so bad, and I felt so defeated. I got off the floor and that was the last time I went out for the day. I let Melissa take my skates out for a spin and she rocked it. At one point I was in tears out of frustration...why did the one sport I actually enjoy be the one that hurt me the most. I wanted to skate so bad, I wanted to be out there doing immaculate crossovers and weaving around the slow people, but instead I could barely stay on my skates more than 5 minutes and be in hellish pain the rest of the time.

I felt really defeated and I left Oaks Park fighting tears. I don't know where to go from here. I want to keep trying, but I losing my optimism. I want to skate, it makes me happy, but I don't want to permanently injure myself either...what do I do? =[

**Angell Job Corps Reunion: This was kind of lame. I got to see Heather which was awesome, but it wasn't planned well at all and hardly anyone showed up. I left early and it sucked. I do want to have a reunion with the people I knew though, I kinda miss them =]

**Game Night: This started late and we only got to play one game, but the time itself was amazing. We played Puzzle Strike (we being me, Melissa, Mariona, and her boyfriend Dustin.) I loved this game and I totally won my first time playing =] To top the whole night off, Dustin and Mariona have friends that have board gaming nights every week. I am so stoked to get to star playing games regularly. =]

All in all, my day was Epic. I am in love with my new place, it's location, and the possibilities it brings. Here's to new endeavors! =] Sara gets home on Tuesday and she gets to come home with me and stay =] I'm happy.

To part: here are a few pictures from Oaks Park:

 very blurry, but here is me skating

us girls =] Melissa, Eloise, and I =]

Me with my skates on =]

Mine and Eloise's skates

My newest recruit into the world of Derby, watch out, she might be coming =] (she is using my skates =])

New Apartment

So as I've been surrounded by boxes, packing, and generally picking up my life to move to a new city, I've been forced to go through my stuff and figure out what gets tossed out, left behind, sold, given away. It is a draining process, yet so cleansing. In the moving process there is always one aspect that doesn't get sorted until you unpack it, for me this time it is my life that I'm sorting. I've moved so much that going through my belongings was easy. I've got it honed down to things I am going to keep and what I'm going to leave behind. My life is a different story.

I feel like I've matured so much over the last couple of months. On my birthday I was thinking about how I still didn't feel like I was getting older...I felt like I was still in the same place I was when I was 18 and it had been 5 years. What happened to my 5-year plan? Yeah, that didn't happen. It doesn't make me sad or upset though, I just got more motivated to change it. Now that I'm in a new city, a new place, I have a fresh start and I can do this right.

I'm taking summer off from school to get settled in my new place, find a job and just try to do some stuff for me and work on bettering myself. Here is a list of goals I laid out for myself a few weeks ago, and I may add to it now =]

- Move to Beaverton (done)
- Get license (done)
- Get back on my skates and go to Oaks Park (doing this tomorrow)
- Spend time with my grandma, aunts, and cousin
- Do weight watchers and stick to it
- Start working out (start small, work up)
- Get unpacked before Memorial Day (working on this)
- Work on setting up a routine at home to make my life easier
- Incorporate something active in my morning routine
- Buy a planner that I'll use
- Apply for 3 jobs a day (so far so good)
- Apply for food stamps when Sara gets back from her trip


That was my list, and I could put more on it, but I decided not to. Something else I've been doing, though not on a list, is cleaning my life of unnecessary activities or people. I'm trying to be a better person, and an even better Christian. It took me forever to quit smoking, but I did it and it has been wonderful. I want that cleansing feeling with the rest of my life. I want to be free to be me. I don't need people tearing me down, manipulating me, using me, or being fake with me. I feel like I've been doing well in this endeavor.


It's not like I'm going through a list and saying "keep" or "toss" to my friends, but eventually my friends show their true colors. To me a friendship isn't determined by how much I see the person or talk to the person, but it is determined by how our relationship is when we do see each other and how our friendship is when we don't see each other. I don't need people nagging me about how little I call them or how little I see them. It is about to get a whole lot worse, and I'll see who sticks around.


ok, I have to go, but here is a look at my room before I unpack =]

Welcome

Okay, so welcome to my blog. This blog will have random post about what is going on in my life, how I'm feeling, what I'm thinking, and whatnot. I've never really been able to keep a blog active, but I'm hoping that I'll do this one. I might just take a while to get into it again.

Enjoy!