I’m trying to update this more often again, that last post just too long and took too much to get out. Lol. By the time I finally had it finished, everything needed updates again. So let’s try being on top of this again and see how it goes. Work is always a fun one for me so we’ll start with that. I know sometimes I make it seem like my work sucks, but I really do like my job. My anxiety makes me freak out more than a normal. There haven’t been a whole lot of calls that have made me so stressed out that I have had to walk away from my desk, only two or three as far as I can remember, and I’ve taken thousands of calls(I’m not even exaggerating. I take an average of 120 calls a week and I’ve been here for about 24 weeks now almost.) So out of that many calls, if there are only 2 or 3 that have made me so frustrated or stressed that I’ve had to walk away, I’d call that pretty good.
For those that have had to deal with me while I’m in those situations, thank you for two things: 1) for being there and 2) for not mocking my anxiety. I know I’m being stupid sometimes, but sometimes I just need to rant and then when I hear myself, I know how unreasonable I am being and I’ll figure it out. Just having people there that will listen and just be there; that helps. It’s really hard to change the way my mind works, but I’m trying my best to work with it. Now that I know how to filter, it’s getting easier, but it is still hard. I have people who are there when I need a hug and some people who understand the situations because they deal with them too. I just appreciate all the support I’ve got. This is my first call center job and even though I’ve worked a lot of customer service jobs, call centers seem like the worst. People don’t have a person in front of them, so I am not a person to them…I am the broken piece of equipment and they are mad. Sometimes people don’t care if their issue gets resolved, they just want to yell at someone. Sometimes letting them vent and then showing empathy helps and I am really good at calming customers down, but for those that still think I am an xbox…all I gotta say is I wish I was that thin =]
All in all, work is really good. The things that I worry about are normal and that’s new for me. Finally I get to go back to my old schedule of working in the mornings. End of the month, can't wait.
Roommate stuffs…sometimes I feel like I’ve been such a horrible roommate, but I know I'm just over thinking things.... I’ve been trying to take advantage of this whole new schedule thing and working from noon to 9. This way I basically hang out with Sara in the morning and other people I plan with at night since I don’t have to wake up uber early. The only thing is, when I hang out with people (pretty much been the same person a lot, but I’m working on it), I generally stay the night because I’m not good at driving tired and I don’t want to risk crashing, and I like the sleepover part too hehehe. I just need to be better at time management so I wake up and go home to hang out with Sara and do stuff at home. I just don’t like being so time constrained and having a shift in the middle of my whole day messes with me. Grrr. Sara has been amazing and I wubs her to pieces. Best roommate I’ve ever had. WE are past our 6 month mark and we haven’t had an argument yet. We’ve gotten snappy before, but usually only during a certain time of the month, lol. And I think I’ve finally stopped worrying so much about what she thinks of me. I really do hate how my mind works, but I’m noticing that I am winning in some areas and I don’t freak out so much about what she is thinking now and I like that. I hold content that if she had any issues, she’d talk to me and I don’t stress anymore. Yay =] Soon I go back to my old schedule and can plan things =] I just wish she didn't work on my days off....it makes it so hard.
Sorry for the uber cryptic relationship portion of my last post, it probably won't get better. Mostly because I don't always share a lot about stuff like that because people assume things and I really hate that. We had our little talk and things went really well. Of course, I freaked out about it because I feel that I am incapable of communicating effectively. I wrote out my thoughts without going back to edit them and gave it to him, he read it and clarified. Basically nothing is going to change and I am happy. I didn’t want anything to change, that was what the freakout was for…I was afraid that things would change by "talking" because the sitgma is that a "talk" in a relationship means things need to change. I just wanted to know what he was thinking and I have a bit more insight now. Yep, still not a lot of information fro you all, there are some things I keep to myself. lol. If you want to know more, feel free to ask. <3
For fun stuff, I've started watching Dr. Who. I just finished the episode in season 1 with the German Air Raids and the guy I quess who is from Torchwood? I dunno. I wasn't impressed in the beginning with the show, but it is getting much better with each episode. I tried watching Grimm, still not too enthused about that one...we'll see. I still play lots of rock band <3, and I'm trying to get better at more than the vocals...Jem is too stinking good, I feel inferior, lol. I'll stick it out on hard for now until I can get it through my thick head to stop strumming the hammer ons and pull offs, otherwise I'll always fail. Been playing a lot of board games. Dungeon Petz is a new favorite of mine, it is soooooo stinking cuuute and really thinky as well.
Other fun stuff....I keep winning concert tickets on the radio but not being able to go to the concerts. This needs to change. Also, Wicked is coming back to Portland in March and I want to try to go! Who's with me? Hmm...what else? Once my finances are in check, I'd really like to invest some spare funds into rennaissance outfits so I can be more active with SCA again. March is going to have an event in Portland that I'd really like to go to if I can manage. There are closets for people to borrow garb and I want to find that up here so I can be prepared. It's a masquerade ball which would be so much fun and with the old dances I'd love to finally learn. That is the kind of dancing I like, the mideval dances that I did when I was a kid. I want to learn again sooo bad!
I think that's it for now. If you think I'm forgetting anything, comment and I'll add =]
please unblock me.....
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